spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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