Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
