Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sarcasm needs its own font
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
