Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
