I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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