just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
