The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
