hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
