Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We need a shit load of segways right now
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
