sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
