I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
