I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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