He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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