cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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