I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
