lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
