Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just threw up on my dentist
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
