This is not my ceiling
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
