and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Randomize
