Apparently you make a good broom.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
