I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
