We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
