Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
