On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
