don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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