why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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