just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
