My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
