the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
