I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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