yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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