Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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