So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
