I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
