Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
