yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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