can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
