i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
