and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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