they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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