cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
