your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
