I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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