Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
