yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
