He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
