hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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