oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
