He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
