Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
