Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
