hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
