no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
