I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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