I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
