I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
