My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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