omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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