i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
cat food counts as protein by the way
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
