Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
